


A Trip to the Zoo

by holdyourbreathfornow



Series: HYBFN Freak Fam Stuff [6]
Category: Freak Fam - Fandom
Genre: Multi, animal theft, but we love them for it, criminals being dumb, put that thing back where it came from or so help me, the penguin has a starring role
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 04:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20352262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdyourbreathfornow/pseuds/holdyourbreathfornow





	A Trip to the Zoo

“Remind me why we’re here?” Shirk asked grumpily as he took a drink from the disposable soda cup he carried in one hand. He was wearing a very crappy disguise, namely a baseball hat over his long red hair and black sunglasses.

Next to him, Disaster was wearing a sun hat and blue eyeglasses, carefully focused on keeping the ice cream cone in her hand from dripping onto her fingers.

“I told you, Ace told us to meet them and Vinny here.” She told him in between licks, and her eyebrow raised in judgement. “It’s not my fault if you don’t listen.”

“I did too listen.” Shirk muttered petulantly and pouted until Disaster offered him a lick from her ice cream cone. “Just didn’t remember.”

“It’s okay, I don’t remember where we’re supposed to be meeting them.”

“You want me to call Vinny?”

“Yes, please, God knows Ace doesn’t answer their phone.” Shirk laughed as he dug his phone out and pressed one of his speed dials.

“Hey, Vinny. We’re here. Where are we supposed to meet you?”

Disaster could hear Vinny’s voice rambling on the other end of the call.

“...Wait, where are we meeting you?” She turned to look at Shirk, who looked equal parts annoyed and confused. “Well, how did you get there? ...Yes, we’re on our way. Love you too, bye.” Shirk ended the call, put his phone back in his pocket and dropped his head into his hands, groaning low and deep.

“Should I ask?” Disaster finished her ice cream and bit into the cone.

“No.”

“...Caaaaaan I ask anyway?”

“No.”

“Shirk?”

“...”

“Darling, doll, love of my life-”

“UGH, FINE!” Shirk threw his hands up and sent Disaster into a fit of giggles. “Our date mates, the absolute geniuses they are, got themselves stuck in an exhibit trying to steal a penguin.” Disaster doubled over laughing, and Shirk had to stop and wait for her to recover, his own mouth twitching occasionally as she wheezed for air.

“Oh my god, I love them. Okay, which exhibit are we going to?”

“The penguin one.”

“Okay, grab us a map, I have absolutely no idea where we’re going.”

-

Vinny and Ace were in the penguin exhibit, both in very different emotional states. Vinny was lying in the middle of the rock platform, spread-eagled and staring up at the sky. Ace, meanwhile, was crawling after a baby penguin on their hands and knees.

“I vote we just leave them.” Shirk told Disaster and she raised an eyebrow at him, crossing her arms over her chest. They had a little stand-off as the other zoo visitors scooted around them, and Shirk sighed finally, letting his head drop. “...Fine.”

“Thank you.” Disaster grinned and Shirk sighed before he shot out the glass of the exhibit.

People ran away from the two of them, screaming, and Disaster carefully leaned in through the now-broken window. 

“How, pray tell, did this happen exactly?” She asked and Vinny pointed at Ace, who had succeeded in grabbing the baby penguin and was now cradling it carefully in their jacket.

“Ace decided they wanted a new pet.” Vinny sounded tired as they stood and shuffled along the rocks towards, Shirk, who helped them out through the window.

“You can’t take the penguin with you, Ace.” Disaster said to her date mate, but she was already reaching out and scratching the chirping bird under its beak. 

“You’re getting sucked in.” Shirk told her and she wrinkled her nose at him without looking away from the penguin.

“No, I’m not!” The penguin cheeped and Disaster visibly melted a little. “...Okay, maybe I am.”

“Told you.” Shirk looked up as the sound of police sirens began approaching and he started herding his date mates and the penguin away from the shattered glass of the exhibit. “Just warning you now, it’s your responsibility to clean up after that thing and feed it and stuff.”

“Yes, Dad.” Ace grinned cheekily at Shirk, who just rolled his eyes and fought to keep the smile he could feel growing off his face.

“Let’s just go home.”


End file.
